8 SIGNS THAT YOU'RE AN UNHEALTHY PEOPLE PLEASER

8 SIGNS THAT YOU'RE AN UNHEALTHY PEOPLE PLEASER

Wanting to do things for others and make people happy is noble but harmful if it’s at the expense of your identity.

People pleasers struggle to stand up and be themselves because they’re so busy bowing to the whims of others. We aren’t here to please people at the expense of our own wellbeing, we're here to be ourselves because that’s how we really give something good to others around us. 

If you suspect that you may be a people pleaser yourself, here are eleven signs to look out for.

1. You FIND YOURSELF lYING

Problem: You don’t share your opinion if you disagree with someone. Or you agree with someone else on theirs even if deep down you don't feel it's right.

Solution: This is doing great damage to your self growth, so back yourself up and let your views and values shine.


2. People TREAT you like a doormat

Problem: You take on more than you feel you're capable of and you always find yourself altering your time to make way for someone else's demands. You have trouble saying no because it makes you feel guilty, so you pretend to be happy with the added responsibilities.

Solution: Ask yourself; Is there more to me than being at others beckon call? The answer is yes. Much, much more.


3. You get really stressed when you don’t know what people want or expect

Problem: When you don’t know what will please someone, you don’t know how to be or what to do. You’re in the unknown and you feel like you’re walking on eggshells because you’re not sure how people will respond to you.

Solution: It's time to reprioritise and put yourself first otherwise you're taking the risk of burning out.


4. YOU SPEND A LOT OF TIME WORRYING ABOUT HURTING PEOPLE

Problem: You worry about offending people, making them angry, or disappointing them. You’re intention is to never hurt anyone.

Solution: This is unrealistic way of thinking, the reality is the person you're hurting the most here is yourself. Apply some self love and become more in tune with what's hurtful to you.


5. You avoid conflict like the plague

Problem: You’re a peacemaker. You can't think of anything worse than debates and arguments. You either run when there’s conflict or try to patch it up straight away because it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Solution: The world is not all sunshine and rainbows, confrontations can sometimes be necessary conventions needed to be had. Learn to identify them.  


6. You hide behind your smile

Problem: When people ask how you are, you smile even if you’re not feeling great and tell them you’re fine because you don’t want to drag them down.

Solution: Just like everybody else, you have the right to feel crappy every now and then, regardless of how it makes others around you feel.


7. You apologiSe a lot

Problem: Even when you’ve done nothing wrong, you feel responsible and say sorry often. You always find a reason to take the blame and apologise.

Solution: Too much guilt can break a person down, be your own best friend and leave the apology only when necessary.


8. your life mottos is: ‘If other people are happy, I’m happy’

Problem: If people are happy around you, then that's just fine by you. 

Solution: You've got YOUR OWN LIFE to live. Years down the line you'll look back and see all the time wasted on being a people pleaser. So cut yourself a break and live a little. Well actually, live A LOT.

What do you do to please people at the expense of your identity?

Image Source via: Tumblr



WORDS BY:  Juni Desireé Hoel 

Juni is a creative night owl who does her best doing/thinking between 9pm and 3am. She’s currently studying for her Master of Writing and Literature and finds her happy place via visits to the beach, petting dogs and The Lord of the Rings.  

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